February 26, 2013

Decibel fatigue

I've been filling my ears with sound lately: the TV has been going constantly while I study as a little white noise to keep my brain occupied.  Or, in the car, I listen to music or NPR as I drive to school and the hospital.  In the shower, I pick out an artist and listen to music.  On the weekends, I have a list of podcasts that I inhale while I do the dishes or other chores.

I've been filling my ears with so much sound that sometimes I forget to just sit and have quiet.  I realized that it's made it hard to write: I haven't had any nooks or crannies in my subconscious mind for little ideas to take root. 

I also haven't had much impetus to write.  I have actually actively disliked this rotation (first time this year!), which is a weird feeling but also reassuring.  I was starting to worry that I would like everything a little and that nothing was truly a strong "fit." But now, I can say with confidence: I will not become an anesthesiologist.  No way, no how.  I'm really glad we have this rotation though--it's amazing to think about what they do while surgeons go to work on the other side of the sterile drapes.  Patients' lives are in the hands of an anesthesiologist far more than they really are in the hands of the surgeon: yes, of course, a surgeon could easily make an error that could cost someone their life.  Anesthesiologists, however, literally push the limits of physiology on a daily basis.  They fidget with their monitors and dials to fine-tune someone's blood pressure, oxygen saturation, and heart rate during an operation, all the while remaining on the alert for the Worst Case Scenario.  To me, remaining forever at the ready (while most cases go well, which means long stretches of excruciating boredom) makes anesthesiology an awful mix of high-intensity pressure and slack-jawed emptiness.  I completely appreciate what they do, but it is not for me.

So much the better!  Now I can cross at least one thing off the list.  Okay, really two things--I guess I already crossed off Internal Medicine & its subspecialties as soon as I started surgery.

I already feel better.  I need to practice meditation and quiet mindfulness more...the constant auditory stimulation has been a self-imposed drain and I never realized it until I took it away.

February 7, 2013

Seasonal paradox

It snowed big, fat, beautiful snowflakes all afternoon.  It was warm enough and the flakes were big enough that they fell quickly, hurried by their wet weight to the ground.  The plows have been going down the street at regular intervals, and I can see the thick packing-snow piled up on my car and in the backyard.

Naturally, this made me want to plan my garden!  I was talking to someone the other day and I realized that I hadn't even come close to thinking about what kinds of plants I wanted to have in my garden.  Of course, since I have lots of other things I should be studying or doing, tonight was a perfect time to both plan out what I want to plant and draw a pretty infographic of how I want it to look.

Look at all those veggies & herbs!

Here's what I have planned for the 2013 growing season:
-heirloom tomatoes
-fairy tale eggplant
-broccoli rabe
-bok choy
-blue dwarf kale
-lacinato kale (one can never have enough kale)
-French long beans
-sugar snap peas
-cucumbers (these last three are around the periphery and will grow up the fence around my garden plot)
-butternut squash
-zucchini (these two aren't pictured.  They get separate little hills of their own because they spread out.)

-thai basil
-flat-leafed parsley
-chives (These last 3 should come up again this year from last year...chives and thyme for sure are perennials, not 100% sure about parsley.)

This only leaves all my flower pots up on my deck.  I think I'm going to actually plant flowers in them this year!  Maybe some taller flowers or a cutting mix so I can have flowers in a vase all summer.