December 13, 2015

OB/GYN Carols

The twelve OB days of Christmas

On the first day of Christmas my attending gave to me an intern in triage!
On the second day of Christmas my attending gave to me two prolapsed cords...
On the third day of Christmas my attending gave to me three shoulders...
On the fourth day of Christmas my attending gave to me four Foley bulbs..
On the fifth day of Christmas my attending gave to me five stat sections!
On the sixth day of Christmas my attending gave to me six TOLACS...
On the seventh day of Christmas my attending gave to me seven cerclages...
On the eighth day of Christmas my attending gave to me eight undelivereds...
On the ninth day of Christmas my attending gave to me nine pelvic pressures...
On the 10th day of Christmas my attending gave to me ten rule out ruptures...
On the 11th day of Christmas my attending gave to me 11 Mag recoveries...
On the 12th of Christmas my attending gave to me 12 BPPs...
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Beta song (Dreidel song)

Beta beta beta
Getting higher every day 
Beta beta beta
An ectopic you might say!
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Silent Night

Silent night, Foley bulb night
All is calm, all is bright 
No pitocin for mother or child 
Only accels so gentle and mild
Sleep a Benadryl peace
Sleep a Benadryl peace

Silent night, foley bulb night
Toco calm, dim the lights 
Residents gaze at tracings Cat I
Nurses hope their work will be done
Please don't ask for ice
Please don't ask for ice
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The L&D song (The Christmas song-Chestnuts roasting on an open fire)

Ferning drying on the microscope 
Nitrazine so deeply blue
Pools of fluid so pearly and clear
And not a drop of mec in sight
Everybody knows
The triage will be full tonight
Moms-to-be across the board
Tiny hearts beating oh so fast
And cervixes open wide. 

They feel contractions 
On the way
They've tried to walk and walk and walk the pain away
But all the father's jokes
Are getting old
He'll never feel this pain! They start to scold...

And so I'm offering this simple phrase
To moms +1 or -2
Although it's been said many times,
many ways-
Today is baby day for you!

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